Description
A shaggy dog story -- "Bidet to you, Sir" -- Poli-talks -- Can't make this stuff up -- Loud noises!!! -- Everyone's a comedian -- How to drive people nuts -- A boring page -- Tech support -- The Henley-on-Todd -- Bob Rock rocks! -- Smelly beef water -- Adark and stormy write -- Classic Muppets -- Clappers, snappers! -- Oops! -- Do not use toiler brush orally -- Reality bites -- The Cabbage Patch conspiracy -- Found on road dead -- British buffoonery -- Thou art a flesh-monger! -- Chindogu -- "I'll havethe Husband and Wife Lung Slice" -- The Hitchhiker's Guide to Douglas Adams -- Joke origins -- Tom Swifties -- Celebrity gossip -- To see the snowman is to dislike the snowman -- Just plane dumb -- Bald to the bone -- Cowbunga! -- Not-so-easy riders -- Word play -- Park on an angel -- April fools! -- Dumb jocks -- I tolerate Lucy -- Taiwan's #2 restaurant -- The obits -- The Manhattan hoax -- Truth is funnier than fiction -- How to spot a New York hipster -- Fictionary -- Cello what? -- I've got a cunning plan -- Dubya-isms -- Beat the press -- Looney lords -- "Stick around" groaners -- Weird games shows -- Keep your eye on the goat carcass.
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The title says it all: This is the funniest Uncle John book EVER, in the newest and most improved way. (It might even be the funniest book in the history of books, but Uncle John is much too modest to state that outright...even though it is.)It's new, it's improved, it's the funniest ever! Back by popular demand, this newly revised edition includes plenty of all-time favorites, along with more than twenty-five pages of new content. That's page after page after page of laugh-out-loud dumb jokes, dumb jocks, toasts, pranks, kings, kittens, caboodles, and, of course, poorly translated kung fu movie subtitles such as 'It took my seven digestive pills to dissolve your hairy crab!' So whether you like your humor witty or witless, light or dark, silly or sublime, you'll laugh until your head explodes. Chortle at'Dumb crooks: The robber who ran face-first into a wall because he forgot to poke eye holes in his pillowcase. Witty wordplay: If Snoop Dogg were to marry Winnie-the-Pooh, his name would become Snoop Dogg Pooh.Flubbed headlines: 'British Left Waffles On House Floor' Quirky stars: Billy Idol's concert rider demands he have one large tub of I Can't Believe It's Not Butter in his dressing room.Job lingo: If you hear an E.R. doc mention a 'VIP,' be on the lookout for a 'very intoxicated patient.'Sputtering sportscasters: 'If only faces could talk.' 'Pat Summerall And much, much more!
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