The Lady Who Liked Clean Restrooms: The Chronicle of One of the Strangest Stories Ever to Be Rumoured About Around New York
New York City resident Jocelyn Guenevere Machantiere, recently divorced, finds herself in financial straits and spends much of her time wandering the city intent on finding the cleanest public restrooms
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Jocelyn Guenevere Marchantiere Jones is an elegant forty-two, living a comfortable life despite being married to a strong, silent man, who is neither strong nor silent, but a bore. One day the bore comes home and announces he's leaving Joy for a bit of "fresh flesh." Joy, ever the lady, divorces in style without groveling or revenge only to find her financial resources quickly dwindling. Alone in her oversized Scarsdale home, depression sets in. Bottle of Polish vodka in hand, she takes a shotgun to the TV, drives her lawnmower round the garden at midnight, and otherwise scandalizes her neighbors.And so she sells her home, moves to a smaller apartment, and settles into a new, frugal lifestyle. However, tighter finances mean she must find thrifty pastimes. Joy couldn't have found a more perfect activity than spending her days exploring the city's fine museums. There is one slight hitch - the facilities of the Met, the Frick, etc., are not up to Joy's standards. Being a lady, Joy always follows one of her grandmother's truisms: "Ladies should only take a pee in clean rest rooms." This leads her into some of Manhattan's most distinguished rest rooms, including one in a funeral home - where she finds her fortunes turned on end.
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